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Spiny Norman's avatar

Purely anecdotal experience, but this is in keeping with my interactions with British folk of a certain type.

For many years (nearly 20), I worked with an Englishman at a consultancy in the US. He was a very well mannered, well educated person - son of an upper rank Army officer, public school, first-class honors degree from Oxford, multiple post-grad degrees. I don’t know his exact age, but I recall he came to the US in the late 70s shortly after completing his first grad degree. In terms of sheer intellectual horsepower, one of the smartest people I have ever met. Also liked and respected by everyone in the office.

One week, he fails to show up for work (he was high enough in the organization that he didn’t need to make excuses for an absence). He comes back about 10 days later. We all remarked on his absence, expressed concern, and asked the cause. He responded in a chipper almost joking tone, “My mother kicked the bucket. We had to bury her.” And he didn’t say anything else about it. Ever.

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s.   wallerstein's avatar

I agree. Not only does he lack the standard polite expressions of grief, but there's a total lack of what we might call "for whom the bell tolls" sensibility, which we expect in any ethically sensitive adult human being.

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